“At times, productivity means doing nothing at all.”
The story of the canoe…
I had my coach last week tell me about the short story of the canoe. Let me tell you:
Once upon a time there was a man living in the desert, alone for years. Suddenly, he saw from far away a small black dot, that after some time, became 2 black dots and then later on became 2 people carrying a canoe. As they got closer to him, he felt the urge to ask them “I have known this place for ever and you have all around you only sand, no water at all. Why do you carry a canoe?”. They replied “where we come from, the canoe was the only thing that saved us from the flood we had so we take it with us everywhere.”
We all carry a canoe with us, a canoe that helped us survived something in our youth but is no longer needed today, as grown-ups.
I found out of few of my canoes already and still in work😊
One is that my parents were too busy with their life emotionally that I had to mature quickly, be independent and find my own ways to internal happiness. It took me until after the age of 42 to understand that being independent, doing all by yourself, making sure I needed no one, acting like a super woman has a price, a big price and that I am no longer ready to pay. I’d rather let go of that canoe and be dependent, need my husband, be “weak” in some ways, dream for cooperation and stop playing the role of “I can do it all”, both personally but also professionally. Actually, the volunteering trip to Africa taught me a lot about cooperation.
The 2nd canoe I found, when looking inside (and again with some help of my coach) is to let go of the race for productivity, that “doing”, moving forward. Where am I racing to? Can’t I stop “doing”? How To be present again? I found out that productivity brought me as a child the great appreciation of my dad, his love and his belief I am a hard-working person and I will become something, one day!
Does a woman at 42 years old need to chase after the love of her dad by always “doing”, never stopping, not allowing the “being” for her kids and husband, and most importantly for herself? What will happen if I let this canoe go? What will happen if I stop doing so much and start connecting to myself and my most loved ones? When you are so busy doing, you miss so much around you, about life, relationship, intimacy, growth…
So, I decided to let go and start learning the art of “being”.
It is hard alone to let go of a canoe, without a therapist or coach as we are used to seeing things, acting a certain way and ‘to change’ is the hardest thing. People tend to continue living in a loop, in the way they are used to, even if sometimes this does not serve them well. We prefer the “known way” than go into the “unknown” even when the first one hurts or makes you stuck.
By letting go of our canoes, we grow and become more connected to ourselves and therefore much happier people as well as parents.
This also taught me how important it is for my kids to grow and learn to connect to themselves, not doing things I want them to do, not becoming something I dreamed about, not doing things for me but staying as close to themselves as they can, and loving what they are, as they are. If they learn to listen to their inner voice and stay connected to themselves, they will always find the way back to themselves.
I wish you to look inside, fearless, identify things you do or believe in, that seem to hold you back and learn to let them go.
By doing this process, I believe we get closer to our true-self, we allow more growth and enlarge our possibilities, horizon, chances for happiness, success and love.
This is really very important! Thank you for sharing such articles with us! They make you think about many things in our life. Thank you.