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This post is a personal one and comes from an enlightenment on my side, sharing my experience as a foster mom to all moms out there, especially new moms or moms to be!

I have always heard and read about primary attachment during first year of a baby’s life, its importance and its influence for his whole life. But in general, most of us are good moms and we give our love to our babies, hug them, kiss them, smile to them, talk to them…

So, do we really feel that important parenting attachment or is it like a given fact for most?

My way of feeling the importance of parenting attachment is when living the consequences when there is NO parenting attachment! Let me explain!

I received my foster boy at 1 year old when 10 months out of his first year, he lived in a shelter home waiting for a family, together with other kids, coming and leaving the house and with an old couple who raised the kids more as grandparents than parents (chocolate yogurt, banana with sugar…)

Today, he is 6 years old. It took us at least 3 to 4 years to build trust with us. It took him 2.5 years to come to our bed for a hug and say “your bed is so comfy”, things “typical” toddlers go through from the beginning.

So yes, as soon as your baby cries or talks or tries to communicate, talk to him, show him love, show him you are here for her and she has been heard. Not too much though as she needs to get used to be alone as well for a short time (See article about independent play) but even if you react from another room, she knows someone heard her and will come for her.

This impacts your baby’s life forever.

Babies need at least ONE person he/she can trust and build a trusting relationships with.

Based on that one relationships, he can then build others, with friends, siblings, coach later on….Trust in people is crucial to grow, open up, learn.

My boy is still learning to trust his mom and dad. I tell him daily that we are here to protect him and anything needed, we are here for him. This is not obvious for him at all. From such an early age, he had to find solutions for himself, had to survive and solve his issues so teaching him to “use” us when he has a problem is the contrary of “normality”!

I know today how parenting attachment feels and especially how the lack of it feels!

Building trust is crucial and you can do this for your baby by giving him the attention he needs!

I am specifically talking about babies and not toddlers or children (at some point, he might become spoiled but not for during his first year!)

Enjoy that first year! As crazy it can be at home, hard to find time for yourself, but please know what you do that first year has an impact for life!

I have not read this book myself but here is a book about parenting attachment if you wish to learn more.