My way of family activities for the 4^th of July might be a bit different that other families!

Almost each country has an Independence Day. 22 countries celebrate Independence Day in the month of July, including America! Here is a list of countries per calendar month. 

What is similar for all countries on that date is the amazing opportunity to talk, listen, play, joke as a family.

You can easily find online lots of great family activities for 4^th of July with kids.

I wish to focus on the important word “Independence”, and take advantage of that day or even week prior to that day, to discuss the meaning of this word, not just for the country as patriotic people and learn about history which is very important, but as people, as a family, as human beings part of a community.

I advise you to sit down for a family meeting or during diner time and ask each of your kids (and adults in the family) questions like:

• What does that mean independence?
• Why do we need independence?
• Do you feel independent?
• Do you prefer to feel independent or dependent? Why?
• Give me a situation in the last week you felt independent? And an example where you felt dependent on someone, or something.
• How did you feel in each case?
• How do you think we can get more independent?
• In what areas you wish to be more independent?
• In what situations you think it is important to feel dependent?

By opening the dialog, and answering your opinions as well, you allow the discussion of such an important matter.

As parents, do we want our kids to be independent or we prefer them to be dependent on us? How do we feel when they are dependent on us? Does that help us or makes it harder?

I guess there is no right or wrong here, but I will share my personal view on this:

Yes I try to teach my kids to be as independent as possible in the everyday life (they prepare their own sandwich for school from 6 years old, they help at home, they fold their laundry from 6 years old, they help clean dishes, they prepare meals from 9 years old…)

..but…there is a BUT! Even few of them:

• We do this not because we believe independence is a must and they must be independent but because they learn tasks, fail, get better, feel good with themselves, feel confident they can do it!
• We do this mainly as a parenting value, because we believe the feeling of “being able to” is crucial for feel great, to feel part of the family, to feel you are worth and needed. Yes it sometimes helps us at home, but many times actually it makes it harder (because I can fold quicker and better or clean dishes much quicker and without the mess). So the main reason for this is not to help parents😊
• We teach and coach them. It takes time and patience, but the process and the exercise are crucial to become better at those things. So not to give up quickly and fold again yourself all clothes because they do not do it right after 2 tries! They will not master it until they practice again and again and that requires from us lots of patience and acceptance for the imperfect!
• As much as we teach them to be independent, it is also important to talk about how much we actually depend on each other. We all felt this strongly during the COVID-19. Each person actions have impact on other people around. The dependence is not a bad thing or something to avoid as it exists and will always be here.

We want to depend on each other, to feel loved, connected…but on the other side, we want to provide them with the feeling they can do on their own and do not need an adult or older sibling for any everyday task.

As far as games and fun activities, I recommend teaching independence play from early age, highly recommend funny family board games,  strategy family games, best card games, DIY to create together, mindfulness and yoga together to learn deal with stress, active indoor fun, or outdoor, trip to camping or to the beach.