It took me some time to want to write about FAITH!
This will be a very personal post!
Thanks to the “Women of Kenya” Special Blog, where I interviewed 12 mothers in Kenya who mentioned a lot “faith and fear & love for God”, I decided it was time to reveal myself on this matter too.
I am Jewish and was raised in a believing family. My husband is Jewish but was not raised with parents who believe (his grandparents did though).
For Jewish people in the last 2 generations, Faith has a lot to do with the Holocaust, (my grandmother survived Auschwitz camp and became a stronger believer after the war, despite everything she went through and saw, versus my mother-in-law’s parents who lost their beloved ones in the camps and during the war and this makes a huge difference, raising crucial questions about God’s existence during such a war) but faith and spirituality exist anywhere and in all religions or culture. This is why I believe we all have this important tool in common.
I must admit, Jews do not see Judaism as a religion but as an identity, part of a culture and people, prior to your nation (since you are Jewish by birth based on your mother) . And this might be different from other religions which raises the question: should we raise our kids with faith? Why or and why Not? I will not discuss about each religion neither how to believe or what to respect, as this is very personal and each family chooses to practice less or more, at different times.
I wrote about the difference between me and my husband earlier in this article, only to explain that I fully understand, accept and respect there are different points of view and beliefs, even in my own house, raising our children.
With That being said, I do raise my kids with faith and spirituality, and Here I wish to explain the reasons and benefits why teaching faith is important.
First let’s Better define “faith” and “spirituality”.
Faith is defined as “strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof:”
Spirituality is defined as “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.”
Sandy Eisenberg Sasso defines spirituality broadly as “an inner belief system that the universe and all people are connected in ways we can’t see; that life is about more than just ‘me, me, me.”
This has nothing to do with faith or religion. It is a belief we are part of something big and we connect to ourselves and each other, we affect others and the world around us.
Understanding that certain things are greater than yourself seems to enhance children’s sense of personal meaning and purpose, and to reinforce their connections to their community.
Things that can be done to teach faith and spirituality:
- Explain to your kids that you do not understand certain things and do not have all answers because those are bigger stuff, that cannot be controlled or understood by you. Why the pet died or how come she is short for example are things we have no control and we need to deal with those questions daily.
- Read them stories with a message to learn, about mindfulness, spirituality, inner self. some examples can be found here.
- practice yoga with those wonderful games. You can read about the people behind those games and their goals.
- Have each child save a monthly amount from his allowances and every year choose together a family project where you can donate and do some good for others. Check here a longer article about money and allowances.
- “sow their souls” by emphasizing their qualities, “see” and mention the good acts they did daily (like helping a friend, pick up garbage on the sidewalk, be emphatic to an abandoned cat, offer help…) . They will learn to look at their “good parts” with a magnifying glass and learn to like themselves through the good actions and thoughts they have. I have written about games to teach kindness here.
- Teach by doing and become an example: if they see you do little acts, they will learn to do it. I donate and mention to them so they know this is part of my life, and it is important to continue if we can, even during times that are more challenging. You can read about a big project in Africa in the summer of 2019 with my teenage daughter.
- Discuss about authenticity with yourself, not to do things that people want you to do but things you can relate, connect, feel right to you (as long as this does not hurt someone else of course)
- Discuss about modesty. My 10 years old started to share 10-15 time a day short videos of where she went and what she did, with her classmates on WhatsApp. There is nothing bad about this really and she might not hurt anyone. However, I took her for a serious talk and explained to her about modesty, not to share with the world every step you do. This is part of being modest and sharing few and only to few people only, pick and choose what you want to say and to whom.
The reason I wish to teach faith and belief that there is God or a stronger universe “above” us, is that I see this as an important tool to provide our kids.
They can always leave it later on if that does not suit them but not to provide it to them is like not providing them a crucial tool like being able to read, write or talk your emotions.
Being able to believe in a stronger force is a tool or gift you can provide to them at early age, in case at least one of the parents honestly believes in it.
I could not talk about God if I did not believe in it. I genuinely think it helps and will help them in the future dealing with disappointment, failure, accident… There are things that happen and not in our control. It is much easier to deal with those moments believing God sent us “a challenge that he knows you can pass it and grow from it”. Why should we deprive them from this important tool?
The other direction is much more difficult, meaning not to provide them and then later on they will get it by themselves. So I’d rather provide it all even if they will leave it sometime in the future than not to provide it at all and leave them alone to deal with those tougher times.
The possibility to ask for help, pray, thank is something I am not sure how to live without and certainly hope my kids will live with. (again, that does not mean going to church or praying that many times a week, but that means it is part of you, part of your habits, talks, discussions, thoughts…)
Conclusion:
Teach faith so they have an additional tool in their tool box for life, that might help them in the future, especially in bad times!
Teach them spirituality so they connect to themselves, love themselves, respect the others and the universe and become good respectful grow-ups.
I hope you found this article interesting, and that it will help you think about it and gather your own opinion!
I invite you to check also the article about “Children day celebration and how to take care of a child?”
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Thank you very much for sharing this article with us! This is really very important! I also believe in God and try to teach this to my child!